“Again you cannot connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in the future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life”. – Steve Jobs, Stanford University commencement speech, June 2005 [tweetherder][/tweetherder]
With the ushering of the new year (2013!) – still 22 days left!- I realize that time has really passed by really fast.
When I was younger I thought the time is going pretty slow and I impatiently hope I will get into the next grade and the next and the next…but when I grew older I feel that time pass too quickly and I still want more time to get all my goals done.
You have that feeling too?
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In this post I want to share with you the principles that have really helped me in achieving my goals this year.
I am not perfect but 2012 has been a year of a lot of changes for me: I got married, moved, bought a new home, got laid off (due to company acquisition), got a pet, start this website and my first year being a wife! I
t was overwhelming at first because I haven’t experienced so many changes within a span of one year.
But I am thankful because each of these changes were very positive and life changing and I hope to share what actions I took to help me cope with it:
1. Understand that everything happens for a reason.
This might sounds zen-like or new-agey but personally I believe that things and events happens in our lives with the purpose of making room for better things.
For example, I have a failed relationship before and in 2011 I dated my boyfriend (now husband) because that experience taught me what I should be looking for in a genuine relationship is kindness, love and being honest.
In my previous one, I was more focused on seeking a financially established man and the result was a break up. So to me that failure make me understand that a person’s character and personality is more important than his material success.
Another aspect is my career: As you have read in my story, I used to work for 3-4 different companies within a span of 1.5 years.
I mistakenly thought that the problem is the office environment so every time I feel miserable, the next thing to do was to look for another job. I repeat this until I got laid off early this year.
When I got laid off, I finally realize that the Universe is trying to tell me that the problem is not the Office Environment.
It is the fact that I never really like the routine and monotonous rhythm of a regular job and I try to pigeonhole myself into it (but I keep dismissing it until the laid off force me to see things differently).
This was the starting point of going into the online business where I want to do what I always been passionate about: grow and learn and at the same time share what I have learn and experience with others.
To me having a website is the perfect platform to achieve my goal and this website was created out of that vision.
2. Focus on Abundance.
Don’t focus too much on what you are lacking in life: it could be money, a potential long term partner, career, health etc… I used to worry a lot about things that have never happen but the problem is that I always have the “what if..” scenario in mind (and they tend to be negative in nature).
But after I got laid off I stop feeling sorry for myself and I decide that instead of worrying about getting a job and paying the bills, I might as well started focusing on the things and dreams I want to achieve.
During that time, my boyfriend propose to me (after less than 6 months of dating) and after marriage he was financially supporting me for a while until I got my own business going.
So focus on what you can accomplish and achieved, not what you are lacking.
Focus on what you want and need. Focus on having positive thoughts and you will attract positive things to you.
3. Let go of attachments.
Try to see things in an objective way and know that they are impermanent- nothing in this world is permanent.
The problem of attachment is that if can bring you anguish when you suddenly lose it through change.
Instead be grateful and happy for the experience and move on to greater and better things.
4. Ask for Help.
Ask help when needed because it is almost impossible for you to do everything.
Outsource, hire someone or delegate tasks and responsibilities to others so you can focus and adapt to whatever changes you are facing.
5. Listen to your Gut or Feelings.
When faced with doubts, a dilemma or fear of the unknown, listen to that feelings inside of you.
Sometimes when everything looks right logically or on paper, you might have the feeling that this choice isn’t right.
Then the best thing you do is to listen to what the feeling is telling you.
I have seen this numerous times in my life where I always regret when I dismiss this feeling and go with only my head instead.
6.Don’t be afraid of mistakes and failures.
It is OK for you to make mistakes. It is a sign that you are taking action.
We are not perfect and the lesson is to learn from the mistakes and failures so we know what to do next.
See failure as a feedback mechanism and never take them personally.
Look instead for the lesson in them.
7. Happiness –
Discover what kind of environment makes you happy and strive to re-create that environment for yourself.
For example, are you a nature person and love doing knitting and sewing?
Then ensure you either do this often or take classes to immerse yourself in that environment.
See #5 on Listening to your Feelings to discover what makes you sing.
8. Let go of the past –
I mean your past angers, hurts and embarrassment.
Don’t let past hurts prevent you from moving on. \
If you have a failed relationship (like me), move on and forgive the person.
Believe that the reason why you broke up is because a better partner is waiting for you.
Apply this thought to other areas in life too.
9. Be Yourself and do things for yourself.
Don’t do things to please others but ensure everything you do is because it is what makes you happy.
And this it not selfishness.
What is the point of doing things while you are miserable doing it?
You are also spreading that miserable “vibe” to others.
But when you do things that you feel happy doing it, you are spreading your happiness and positiveness to others around you.
So it is a win-win situation.
10. De-Clutter Your Home.
My last tip is to a big cleaning of your home.
Let go and donate everything that doesn’t resonate with you anymore.
It could be old clothes, shoes, figurines, gifts etc…but if it doesn’t have any value or meaning to you now, then the best thing to do is to either donate or throw it away.
Surround yourself with things that have significance and meaning to you. It is like telling the Universe that you are ready for new things to enter your life and you are making room for that.
Hope you like these 10 tips.
I want to wrap up this post with a video of the late Steve Jobs.
His commencement speech at Stanford University is one of the most memorable I have seen and I use his quote in this post as well:
Read the Transcript