In an interview by Oprah Winfrey, Dr Brene Brown managed to dissect the real meaning of an wholehearted person.
The American scholar, author, public speaker and researcher said that a real whole-hearted person is someone who is authentic and true to himself.
It is someone who does not strive to pretend to be somebody else, but is someone who celebrates his own unique qualities and experiences.
A person can be considered wholehearted when he or she finally lets go of the obsession over perfectionism.
Dr. Brene believes there is no such thing as perfectionism so therefore, it must not be a goal for anybody.
Perfectionism, according to Dr. Brene’s school of thought, is not a healthy strive for excellence per se, but only a way of thinking where people could hopefully avoid shame and judgment.
As far as Dr. Brene and Oprah Winfrey are concerned, perfectionism is not conducive to happiness.
It takes practice for some people to become an entirely new and whole-hearted person.
It is not easy for all of us to not care about what people think of us.
Many of us suffer from unnecessary anxiety just because of this invisible fear of how we might look or appear to others: are we acceptable in their eyes?
Or do we need to change and become “better” under other people’s standards?
This kind of anxiety manifests in our daily lives even through petty concerns like the way we dress, the way we talk, what kind of coffee we order, and what we could do with our money.
There is usually this want to fit in so we could belong.
But what we do not know is that the group we have been striving to belong to is not the group that would make us happy in the long run.
Yes, we might “belong” if we try to please them but are you happy?
It could just build even more anxieties along the way and we will never find ourselves as the “perfect fit”.
If only, for once, we finally appreciate ourselves for what we truly are, then we could understand what Dr. Brene Brown has been trying to inform the viewers of the Oprah Winfrey show: perfectionism is striving for a world that does not exist in the first place.
Perfectionism in our academic, professional and even in our spiritual lives will not happen unless we learn to accept what and who we are.
You can strive for excellence, but not perfectionism
Once and for all, let us not be afraid of the world seeing us for what we really are and be thankful for what we have.
Perfection is a disturbing word for it sometimes shatters the innocence and authenticity in people.
It is an illusion that must not be confused with reality so that we may lead happy and fulfilled lives.
Otherwise, we will never be content with what we have, the people we are with, and the things we can do.
People who strive for such thing are only fooling themselves that they are shielded and untouchable in the real world.
But it is not being suggested that we make ourselves believe that slacking off is okay — we should work smart, not hard.
And eventually, accept the things that we cannot change.
Do the best you can do and don’t worry about the things you cannot control.