Do you often find it hard to tame your temper? I used to have a lot of anger issues because of my perfectionism.
If something doesn’t meet my expectations, I will feel the anger boiling inside of me. As time goes on and I grew older, my anger management has definitely improved.
Coupled with doing meditation, reading philosophical books and being more understanding of others has helped me overcome my anger problem.
Anger can further aggravates problems and creates further roadblocks in our way, resulting in more pain and stress.
Anger can turn even the most gentle of personalities into a totally different person. But anger can be managed.
First it needs to be controlled. If you feel anger coming up inside of you, tell yourself right away to not be angry.
As your control and awareness increases, then you slowly goes into anger prevention.
This is the hard part because that means that you cannot be angry at all in the first place.
So let’s start with how to properly manage your anger.
Here are a few anger management tips to get rid of the frustration, anger:
1. Accept the fact that not all things are under your control.
If you continue to try controlling things and people around you, this may only result in frustration and anger. Learn to let go of things that you cannot change.
2. Learn the art of forgiveness.
Often our anger is caused because of high expectations of people and things around us. Keeping ill-will or very high standards against someone is like renting them free space in your brain to someone else.
Learn to forgive others who have hurt you and move on. Regarding high expectations, be aware that everyone has the same personality and character trait than us.
I used to suffer from perfectionism too but then I realize that it was unfair to others to hold them against my own high standards.
This is one of the simplest ways of managing anger problems.
3. Identify possible solutions to the problem that is making you angry.
Find out what drives you crazy and try to close the door on the issue, looking for a solution instead.
4. Keep reminding yourself that anger doesn’t do you any good, nor would it fix anything for you.
Rather, it only makes things worse and it affects you emotionally.
In the end we pay a high price for tolerating anger via our health and emotions.
5. Use humor to release stress, tension, and anger.
Watch some comedy shows, or funny movies. Move your attention away from anger. Pronto!
6. Identify negative thought patterns that often trigger anger spells in you.
Often there are some triggers that make you angry.
Avoid people, things, situations, or places that can potentially trigger your temper. For example, the traffic on the road may drive you crazy every time you go out. Find ways to deal with such triggers. Accept that there is going to be always bad drivers on the road.
7. Replace seeing the negative with seeing the positive.
There is something to be learned from every situation. No matter what the repercussions of a given situation, learn to see things differently and positively. Tell yourself that there is good in everything you do.
This will help you identify positive aspect of everything and thus enable you to tame your temper. Just adjusting your perspective on things will drastically improve your perspective on things and consequently your anger as well.
8. Do number counting.
Count to 9 to give yourself enough time to let your rational mind catch up with your feelings and help you cool down as soon as you identify anger symptoms in yourself.
This will help you overcome the impulse to lash out and calm down effectively.
9. Get creative to release tension and tame your temper.
Writing poetry, playing with colors, dancing, acting, painting or making music are some creative activities that are known to improve your cognitive functions and your emotions.
So whenever you feel angry, take our your brushes and start painting or turn on some music and start to engage yourself fully in that activity. After it is finished, you will realize that your anger is gone or at least somewhat reduced.
10. Discuss about the situation that makes you angry to your friend.
This will give you a different perspective on the anger issue and help you cool down. Don’t hold all the negative emotions within you. Instead, share your frustrations and anger issues with your close family or friends.
I always talk to my husband after a fit of anger and he always manage to calm me down. Maybe that is why I love him so much :).
Nowadays my anger issues have decreased a lot so I believe he is happy about the fact that the wife stops bugging him!
11. Make time to relax every day.
Relaxing the body and mind is crucial to get a good night’s sleep. A good sleep keeps you contented and relaxed, as opposed to a disturbed sleep, which results in anger and frustration throughout the day.
12. Give yourself a reality check, asking yourself if your anger is doing you any good.
Or if anger is worth ruining your day or affecting your mood or impacting your relationships. Help yourself find a way out to tame your temper.