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What kind of qualities are you looking for in your boyfriend or girlfriend?
Do you think you have found the right partner?
You see, my husband Marcus and I got married within less than a year of dating – to be exact we have been dating for 7 months – but we have already known each other for a couple of years.
Truth be told, I have no plans to marry so early.
My original plan was to marry by age 30. I am now 27 and I got married at age 26 in 2012.
But sometimes we can not always define the depth and love in a relationship by how long a relationship has lasted.
I know a couple who have been dating for 10 years and they still broke up in the end.
So in this post I share with you the 10 criteria I ask myself to benchmark whether Marcus was the “one” and whether I should say “yes” to his marriage proposal.
This is not an absolute list and you might have your own list based on your own dating experience – feel free to share!- but this is the list that I used and has led me to the answer of walking the aisle with Marc:
1. Is there a lot of laughter in the relationship?
You should be able to enjoy each other’s company and crack jokes once in a while.
One thing I have a soft spot for is the fact that I am drawn to men with a sense of humor.
You should ascertain if both of you are seeing things with a sense of humor or sense of lightness.
In many aspects of life both of you should have fun making decisions together.
2. You are each other best friend.
Both of you can be together without any conditions attached other than enjoying the company and presence of the other.
3. You are comfortable and free in each other’s presence.
You can have romantic feelings for each other, but the majority of times you have a sense of satisfaction, comfort and freedom when in his/her presence.
4. He/She is the one among your trusted circle who give you the most support and recognition.
Among the group of close and trusted friends, he/she should be the one who give you support, validation and recognition when you need it the most.
5. You know each other strengths and weaknesses.
Despite the weaknesses you have he/she still accept you who you are and vice versa.
6. Both of you believe that marriage is a life time commitment.
And both of you are willing to commit to this life long partnership and dedicated to make it work in the long term.
7. Both can resolve any miscommunication or conflict right away with tact and diplomacy.
Instead of waiting to resolve the issue later you both can work on a solution on a problem right in front of each other.
8. Both of you have values and ideals in common.
You don’t have to have all of them in common but know that at least both of you have some commonality in terms of goal, pursuits or values.
Also both of you should be clear what each other’s values and ideals are.
9. Both of you communicate easily and friendly.
You are both frank with each other and you can open up and share problems and issues without worries of being judged or criticized by him/her.
10. Both of you have a mature and rational level of communication.
Both of you agree that on many different levels you both match very well.
If you say Yes to all the 10 questions/criteria, there is high probability you might have met the right person.
But as always let your heart have the final say in the matter.
In the end, you are the one who is making the decision and you need to be aware of the consequences of that decision.
And only you know best what is right for you.
I knew right away that Marc is the right partner after asking the above mentioned questions and every answer is a resounding Yes. Plus the fact he has all the qualities I have been looking for in a man.
So what do you think? What kind of relationship advice do you have? Please share 🙂
Here is a picture of me and my hubby:
Check out my post on the importance of asking the right questions: The Importance of Asking the Right Questions